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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28838982">You keep me awake</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSecretLive/pseuds/TheSecretLive'>TheSecretLive</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Disenchantment (Cartoon 2018)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Memories, Mild Sexual Content, Smut</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-13 13:55:43</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,671</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28838982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheSecretLive/pseuds/TheSecretLive</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Bean is trying to focus on her new life as  queen of Dreamland, but despite her determination to give herself up for the people of her kingdom, a small part of her longs only for one dream to come true.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Bean | Tiabeanie/Mora the Mermaid</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>73</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>You keep me awake</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hey everyone, this is my first fanfiction ever.  I was really scared to post it, hopefuly, I won´t ruin your " ship experience". English is not my first language, I´ve been learning to write more advanced sentences only for short amount of time, so if you see a mistake that hurts your eyes, please, let me know. I´ll try my best to fix everything.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Like any other late evening, the sun was setting down over Dreamland, bathing the kingdom in golden light, as if it appeared enchanted for a moment. And for Bean, the newly crowned queen, yet another day of her royal duties came to it's end. Hours and hours spent in the council room made her eyes sore and head hurt, mostly from hearing all the bullshit Odval, Druidess and Sorcerio were arguing about.</p><p>Now, as every time she finished everything she needed to finish, she pointlessly wandered across the empty castle halls, stretching her back from time to time, cracking her fingers, tangling them in her hair, with her eyes flickering over the portraits hanging on the walls.                                                              </p><p> <em>Each of the monarchs on the paintings knew how to rule perfectly, for sure. It just flew in their blood</em>, she thought. But if the same royal blood circulated in her veins as well, why did she feel so distant from them?</p><p>Bean sighed. She knew she was falling into a bad mental state once again, but at least it stopped feeling like something scary and unexpected to her over time. In fact, it bacame almost natural to her.</p><p>Her mother betrayed her. Again. She lost her father. Again. And being a queen, ruling alone, without husband-  which was what she  wanted, actually - just seemed...unfulfilling.  Holding herself together seemed harder and harder every day. And not even Elfo's babbling or late night visits to Luci's Inferno could make her feel better. Dealing with all of this mess suddenly made her numb. Not like there was time for thinking about herself throughout the day , except for a few fall outs, like this...</p><p> </p><p>The kingdom needed her. And she needed to give it all up for the sake of her people. As a good queen should.</p><p> </p><p>On one hand, it felt good, fighting with beasts, forming new laws, resolving diplomatic issues, and participating in the creation of the future of the kingdom that now belonged to her. She was busy. Like...really, really busy.</p><p>And when she somehow felt that things were getting out of her control, that she was without energy or lacked strength, there was always Oona's little package that  helped her get through a lot of crises and sleepless nights, making her forget and keep it all together.</p><p>In spite of all this, however, there were moments in her life when she couldn't help herself but lose all of her compolsure.</p><p>In the throne room, as she listened to yet another dispute between the townspeople, received ambassadors, or hosted an audience, her eyes always wandered away to the ocean. She got used to how Odval always turned insane, as he screamed at her, demanding her full concentration on the matter in front of her.  "What does she see in that stupid water...another monarch soon ready for insane asylum.."  she heard him mutter, but never said anything. Telling him the truth would have the same result as with Oona anyway.  She didn't think he'd say anything else than Ooona did...that it is only best to forget.</p><p> </p><p>And she tried to.... She really, really did.</p><p> </p><p>She never went to the beach under the castle again. Everytime she roamed across the gardens, somehow everytime finding herself standing in front of the passage to the shore, she quickly turned around and left.</p><p><em>Maybe she should have this passage destroyed</em>, she thought, while her heart was suddenly drowning in ache.</p><p>At night, she slept with her windows opened. The midnight breeze, cooled by the ocean, brought freshness and cold to her chambers. She didn't sleep well at all, that was true,often suddenly waking up at the middle of the night, but with the windows closed it was significantly worse.</p><p>She often just sat on her bed, with her knees tucked under her chin, rocking herself back and forth, staring at the night sky, that magnificently spread out above her tower windows.  She always watched one single star, perhaps not the brightest one, but still the most significant in her eyes, while her hand wandered around her empty neck.</p><p><em>The sky could have been the same that night</em>, she guessed. But she couldn't really recall how it looked back then.</p><p> </p><p>All she could think of now were those alluring glistening eyes, the omnipresence of the locks of blue hair, the lips forming to pronounce her name, tasting so good in her mouth and between her teeth. She couldn't remember seeing nothing more. Just like that night.</p><p>She remembered the whispers that resonated through her entire body when a beautiful mermaid towered over her, framing her head with her forearms, looking at her as if she saw a miracle. Her husky, breathless voice, so sweet, so close to her ear.  "You are so beautiful..."</p><p>Beautiful.  She despised that word. It was as if noone ever saw anything more in her. Never even expected nothing more from her. A beautiful, fragile and obedient daughter about to become  a beautiful, fragile and obedient wife, that was suposed to be her fate. Her whole life, she wanted to get away from it, trying to become an exact opposite of it. But hearing it from Mora´s lips, that word suddenly took a different meaning. She didn ´t feel fragile, like a glass that would shatter if anyone touches it. When Mora whispered it between kisses, she felt like a godess,  adored and  worshipped, like a golden statue at the top of an altair people come to bow in front of and pray to.</p><p> </p><p> And that touch of hers..when she imagined it again, her body suddenly became hot. Those damn hands that made her feel things she had never felt with anyone before. Skilled and audacious, filling her with need and lust so big she needed to moan hard for at least a slight release, clutching and arching in that desperate sweet torture....</p><p>She imagined Mora´s fingers against her skin. How they worshipped her. How they made her let go while crying into the heavens above. And that softness and smell of the skin she pushed herself into, offering her support, holding her close, pampering her naked body in an embrace untill she came back from the heights of pleasure. Breathless. Trembling.  And Mora´s sweet voice, once again whispering in her ear. "Don't be scared, my princess. I won't let go." She never trusted any words more.</p><p> </p><p>The star in the night sky was slowly starting to fade, daylight was coming to power again and with it, also her time to rise was getting closer. For her people. And for her kingdom.</p><p>A tear came out of her eye. Everything around her went silent. The only thing left to hear was the queens hartbeat, resonating deep inside her chest. Aching. It was so easy to admit it now...she could never let go. Not for her kingdom, not for her subjects, not for anyone. No matter how hard she would try...Not after she tasted how good it felt to be so loved.</p><p>What she felt that night was different. Something...more. When Mora entered her, she felt so full and so complete, like she found her true prophecy. Like this was something she was destined to. It was heaven. And Mora was her salvation.</p><p>The way the mermaid's name fell out of her mouth as a worship, the way Mora forced her to spell it out with her touch, with her lips, with her tongue...</p><p>Her body, pressed against hers became the whole world. The way Mora's fingers roamed along her curves to find the sweet center where they sunk was still written in invisible patterns all over her body. The memory of them, deep and tender, giving her everything they could, drawning moans from  the rhythm they created for her remained unforgotten.</p><p> Bean  deified all the sensations that remained inside her head, hot touch against her skin, Mora pulling her closer,as their breaths were becomming shallow and pace higher, lustfull and greedier, claiming everything untill there was nothing more to take. If it was a dream, just a torture of her lovesick mind, she would accept it. If a dream could have avoken such real emotions and such pleasure, she would keep on dreaming it, as dark things are to be. Every night. In secret, between the shadow and the soul.</p><p>Bean's hands slowly found their way under the covers, squeezing the bedsheets as if they were the locks of dark blue hair. Her eyes closed, breathing became shallow and her palm rose to her mouth, silencing cries that dripped from her parted lips like muffed moans.  If it was all just a dream, then she was going to dream. And never forget. </p><p> </p><p>                                                                                                                            - o -</p><p> </p><p>When she would come back into full consciousness, gasping for breath, she would twist into a ball and hug her taut calves tightly. She would try to breathe deeply, but it would be as if a lump was stuck in her throat. Instead of exhaling, only quiet sobs would come out of her mouth. Then more and more, until they would get stronger and turn into crying. She would hide in her duvets, with tears streaming down her cheeks. Her trembling breath would slowly stabilize, but the crying would not stop. Her body would stay tensed, every muscle aching like after a hard fight. She would once again hear the familiar song  inside her head.</p><p> </p><p>They say that you're a drowner</p><p>And we're parted by the sea,</p><p>But I can keep you floating</p><p>If you just hold on to me.</p><p> I'll keep you safe, I'm on your team</p><p>And when it feels like just a dream</p><p>Believe it's true, because I do.</p><p>And some day if there's a war</p><p>On some not-so-distant shore</p><p>And lines are drawn, I'm never gone.</p><p>This star's your guide, and I am always on your side.</p><p> </p><p>"Where are you now, then?"</p><p> She would whisper into the cold nothingness of the fading night.</p><p>"Where are you?"</p>
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